What’s the best way to provide negative / uncomfortable feedback?
“Negative feedback is better that none. I would rather have a man hate me than overlook me. As long as he hates me I make a difference” – Hugh Prather
It is highly likely that at some point in your working life, you will be put in a position where you have to have a difficult conversation. Whether it is because of the way that someone dresses, their personal hygiene, inappropriate behaviour or whether they are simply not meeting the objectives required of them in their role, a constructive discussion will need to take place which will involve some sort of ‘negative’ feedback.
This can be a challenging situation even for the most experienced managers or members of human resources. Here are some basic tips to help you maximise your chances of a positive outcome.
- Ask Permission - Rather than just springing the feedback on an individual, advise them that you have some to share and ask whether it is an appropriate time for them. Give them the option of arranging an alternative time, this will give them an opportunity to prepare themselves and it will feel far less aggressive / intimidating for them.
- Go slowly - Try not to charge into the feedback like a bull in a china shop! Prepare them by advising that you have some feedback that might be a little uncomfortable for them and assure them that you too feel the discomfort. There is nothing wrong with admitting that you are both in the same boat.
- Don’t make it about others - It may well be the case that you have to provide feedback due to the complaints of others. However, don’t let your personal discomfort with the situation project the feedback to others. If the person receiving the feedback feels that everyone else already knows about it, this will just make things worse.
- Keep it simple - Once you are ready to give the feedback, do so quickly and simply. Tell them what the problem is and advise them that it needs to be rectified for the good of the organisation.
- Paint a positive picture - Rather than focussing on the negative nature of the feedback, try and move the conversation to a stage in which you are discussing the positive outcomes of addressing the feedback. Just because you had to start with negativity, it doesn’t mean you have to stay there!
- Make a plan and follow up on it - Agree an action plan with the person receiving the feedback. What are they going to do? Do they need any support to do it? When will you review progress? Only by following up will you be able to gauge the success (or failure) of the actions and provide further feedback if necessary.
By remember and practising these techniques, you will eventually become much more comfortable in having conversations which could really make a difference to both individuals concerned, their colleagues and your organisation. To improve your skills in this area, why not try these courses…
Handling Difficult People and Situations
Managing Difficult Staffing Situation
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