How can I improve the working relationship I have with my manager?

“Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream?!” – Homer Simpson

Every manager is different, and to expect our working relationships with them to be a bed of roses is more than a little naïve. It is highly likely that your boss has some characteristics that cause you some level of discomfort, but to challenge those characteristics can seem, at best, uncomfortable and, at worst, professional suicide! However, those that find the courage to communicate are often met with surprisingly positive results.

It is important to remember that in many cases, your manager may be completely unaware of how their behaviour impacts you and, given the chance, will happily seek a resolution. What they are doing may be coming from a good place, and a succession of discussions can correct the situation very easily.

Here are some techniques to consider for dealing with some common issues with a manager.

“My boss doesn’t tell me what I need to know…”

The first thing to remember is that there will always be information that your boss in not able to share with you. It may be because they are not able to do so or simply because it is not relevant. However, if you really think that useful / critical information isn’t getting to you, the following approach might help:

Use specific examples of when your lack of involvement or knowledge of certain facts has caused problems, and back it up with some evidence. If your manager can relate it back to a real business issue, they are not able to dismiss it as a “moan”
Create a positive picture of how improved flow of information will impact the business. If you concentrate on what a good solution looks like rather than labouring on the problem, you will get a better response
Do NOT mirror the behaviour and becomes secretive with information yourself. If your manager sees you exhibiting positive, collaborative behaviours, they are more likely to respond in kind

“My boss will not delegate work…”

The approach to this kind of Manager is going to be different depending on the reason for the lack of delegation. It is therefore important to engage in a discussion to try and identify why they do not want to delegate tasks. Some of the reasons might be:

‘It’s too time consuming’ In this case, you will want to demonstrate that you are able to pick things up easily and take over responsibility for them quickly.
‘Something might go wrong’ This is obviously a trust issue and may well repair itself over time. Perhaps you could offer periodic updates or implement a checking system until that confidence is built.
‘They quite like doing the task’ Whilst not easy, it might be a case of find them something more important and even more satisfying to do

“My boss keeps interfering in my work…”

This is a classic behaviour of the manager who has difficulty in delegating. The key is to help them build trust in your ability and feel comfortable that everything will not fall apart without their constant supervision. The following techniques may help build the required level of trust:

Take the initiative by issuing regular updates on progress and setting up conversations before you are asked.
Develop and present robust plans including risk assessments and any necessary checks that will ensure accuracy.
Don’t try and change the way your manager wants things done (at least not until the trust has been built).
Be aware of what is going on at all times so that you can provide an update, without hesitation, at the drop of a hat.

Remember, none of these scenarios are likely to prove easy for your manager so do not expect to resolve them straight away – it is a long term project that can’t be completed overnight!

For courses to help you improve communication with your manager, why not try:

Handling Difficult People and Situations

Working Assertively and with Confidence

Managing Upwards